Theater

Walking into the theatre, it seemed like it would be like any other ol' trip to the movies. We passed the concession and went into theater 4. sitting down, i took hayden out of the car seat, and gave him a bottle hoping that he would soon sleep. It worked, he was down. 1 1/2 hours later, he awakens. I knew it was going to take a turn for the worse when he starts grunting.
"UNnngggg" He has the look on confusion and pure concentration. Looking straight at me with one eyebrow higher than the other.
"Unnnngg"
I look at Beki- she doesnt seem to hear his work in progress. Good.
It stops. He plays with a bag of day old bread. *CRINKLE CRINKLE* Hes decided to smack it against the car seat to add to his fun. i reposition him only to smell the stench of his diaper.
Taking a deep breath, i take Hayden on my hip and wonder off to the womens bathroom.
I knew i was in trouble when i noticed they didnt have a changing table.

great.

I walk to the stall at the end of the hall- the one reserved for handicapped people.

I open up the diaper bag and search for his blanket to use as a pad. I see nothing. I remember putting it on my purse. My purse was in the theater next to beki. Suddenly, i feel fabric, pull it out. It his little brown jacket.

Itll have to do.

I lay him with his head on the hood and the rest of it underneath his back. I take off his pants and unbutton his onsie.

Disaster.

Explosive.

Disgusting.

Stinking.

The diaper had exploded and had allowed haydens "present" to ooze up his back.

Where are the wipies?

I know i had them in there!

I eye the tissue paper.

Again, Itll have to do.

I grab handfuls of paper at a time. The line of poop seems to never end. Hes butt naked- half protected by his little jacket. I practically have to lift him upside down to clean him completely off, yet still the tissue paper doesnt seem to clean very well. i grab more handfuls. Hayden starts to whine.

I dig in my diaper bag for the backup onsie.

Where is it? I know its there

I cant find it. Did i even put one in there? No. You're so stupid.

I eye the jacket that Hayden's laying on. I look at Hayden. He looks at me. He raises one eyebrow.

It'll have to do.

I come out of the bathroom with a child that looks like a minature flasher. Naked except his diaper and jacket.

I remember his pants once im in the hall, and put those on.

It helped with the flasher effect.

I enter the theater again only to have hayden decide that he wants nothing else but to play with the lights that are three feet from the ground.

I try to watch the ending of Marley and Me.

Did Marley just die?

Wheres Marley?

The credits roll and we make our way out.

Beki says "He's such a good baby! Hes one of the best babies ive seen in a theater!"

What did she just say?

snacks

I hate taking family pictures with me a nd jerry. Its not the actually taking the picture part, i just hate feeling like im the sausage kolache next to the pretzel stick.

Hayden and Santa

I thought for a second there he was going to pull on his beard and reveal to the rest of the children that he was, indeed, fake..

He didnt really know what to think...

Haydens New Trick

Recently hayden has developed a liking of sticking his tongue out each time he sees a camera... or each time he smiles. Its cute and funny until i dress him up in a cute outfit and set out to take a cute picture of a smiling baby for a christmas present. :P
Before the smile...and now the tongue......Before the smile...and now the tongue...

He is still pretty darn cute though... you can actually see it in his eyes that hes thinking "take a picture of this!!!!"

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Send your own ElfYourself eCards